niffira.nia's: uh-oh.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


Self-discovery, that's what it is. Synchronisation of heart and reason, without the interference of the particular sense of responsibility I usually had to live with. I'm not complaining neither regretting, it's just that, it feels great, somehow, to actually being true to yourself and knowing the fact that you are doing things not because you had to, but because you want to. To live to no one's expectation, and just be you, nothing more, nothing less. (Well it's not entirely true, since I kept being bugged after Econ's classes. Hehe.)

Things had been quite interesting so far, I must say. I preferred to blend in, this time around, but somehow trouble can't stay away from me. I wondered why I kept being singled out of a crowd, it's not that I'm fond of attention. It's cool in some ways, but not so in some others. He could've looked for anyone, and it's not so easy to comprehend why must it be me. It got nothing to do with him, seriously, but I'm not into any of this thing, especially not now, not there, and I think I've made it clearer day by day for the past few weeks. It's a funny thing, though, and I can't deny the fact that the whole thing amused me pretty much. :D

And ohhhh, I've made a bunch of cool friends there as well. Sangatttt sangattt cool. New ones made, the old ones remained! hehe. Kakaks pun okay jer. Conclusively I had no trouble in adapting at all la. Main futsal, rocking je. At least I haven't had any part of my skin torn, not yet. CoolSems were very interesting, indeed, and it's a different feeling to miss even one single session. I learned more about Quran and Islam and all sorts of things that come along with them both, and I love it. Not everything is supposed to be academical, brain and soul are two different things and deserved to be fed different meals, right. But yeah, sometimes we forgot the fact that we had a Master, and sometimes not everything is what it appears to be. Sometimes all we need is just the chance to see both sides of the coin and to think a bit more after each moment of hesitation, don't you think? I learned not to judge sangat, and be less skeptical lah kat sana. Just towards some things, mind you. (I had to be skeptical in some situations, especially in English classes. :D) Well, mainly because unbiased mind seemed to do fair to everyone, and everything I encountered so far. So I guess it's here to stay.

When I shared this with some people, they said I haven't actually had the taste of IB life, not fully, yet. And I'm sure to suffer once I did, then I'll be loving it less. I can't help myself but to wonder whether it's true. One thing for sure, I'm not looking forward for it. Not really.


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