Hurm.. few things happened. I was on the phone with Nabilah last night and it felt good. Went to watch Prince of Persia and that's awesomeeee. Had a nice family dinner at Johnny's, and that, too, was fulfilling. Bought a decor mag for a few ideas on how to deal with our new home and dad told me to just pick my choice. And I got his promise for a new perfume, too, so well, at least I got something to look forward to before the idea of kmb kicks in - even if it's something reaaaally trivial as a teeny weeny perfume. Even as I'm writing, well typing this, it struck me what on earth is exactly still making me unhappy.
Something happened - and voila, it made me feel like this. I guess what had happened brought back the memories a little.. no matter how much I've recovered and told myself everything relating to this belongs to nothing but the past, and that's the only rightful place it must reside; it always come down to the same old thing. And it's pathetic to see how the tiny bubbles that had shamelessly evaporated being poked mercilessly by the reality - and you found out that you're no longer dreaming. It belongs to someone else now, handled with care and content; and you're still here, alone and unwind. You boasted, you bragged. You think you're fine with it, but it's eating you inside out. And this whole thing is actually teaching you a lesson, but you are simply too ignorant to bother. You think you know how to live your live well. You know what's right, and what's wrong. What's decent, what's honourable. What's noble. You said you lived on 'Carpe Diem', but for heaven's sake, you don't live by it at all. Listen to your heart, and you'll realise. You know it all along, but it's clouded. And now.. what you can do is to just see. Happiness of others, when it could be your own. The happiness which you refuse to grasp, and it fled away now, to others who knows better to embrace it in a much more deserving way.
Deep, I know. But if this is meant only for you to understand, so be it.
everything happens for a reason, huh?