I can simply whip this off, let it pass. But for some reason I won't..and don't ask me why.
I went back to Kampung last weekend, my grandmother's ill and we thought of paying a one-night visit. It turned out that she's gravely ill and so we extended our stay for another two days. Even though her illness is of my utmost concern right now, the journey back to Johor Bahru this afternoon marked another significant motivation in my life. I've always known this whole thing is something bigger than myself, but still, it took twenty years for the 'picture' to form.
Admittedly, I didn't actually know my paternal lineage. The maternal one never seem to be as mysterious, they're quite transparent, with only a few twists and turns that didn't really concern me directly. Well, on my father's side on the other hand, it had been quite a drama. Imagine, after twenty years of living, only you realized how well-branched the family tree you're from. In the car this afternoon, I listened to the story of my great-grandfather, a renowned Magistrate in Malaya (once upon a time), his sons and daughters (the siblings of my grandfather whom I had never known of before), etc. One of them in fact, is a distinguished corporate figure I admire. To know we're actually related, that amused me for awhile.
I bet he, and she don't even know I existed. Know by relation, perhaps.. but I've never seen them in my lifetime, yet. During my great-grandfather's time, things happened..and I'm from the Small Lot. That's why I've never known. That's why nobody told me. It wasn't really pleasant I guess.
But then, that's my great-grandfather's time. Decades ago. This is his great-grandchildren's time. And during this time, tables may turn. It's okay if they haven't heard of me. They must be decent bunch of people though, I guess. We've never said Hi or Hello to each other, that's all. I'm not ready, and it's not the right time. I'll enter a good medical school, earn first class honors for my medical degree, continue my specialization, and make a decent living out of my own sweats. Then, and only then, if God wills it of course, I shall extend a hand; a bond connecting all the families together. A bond conjured by The Small People, which no longer seem as small. Someday.